I’m no Chris Sims but here are some notes I jotted down while watching ROH’s last iPPV: Death Before Dishonor IX.

• I don’t know who this chick with Prince Nana is but watching her try to walk down a steep ramp in a miniskirt and heels is pretty funny.
• Rhino is still a great talent and a nice fit for ROH.
• I don’t know this feud but 5 minutes in and I already know that Homicide and Rhino hate each other and want to see them fight.
• It’s strange to see Archibald in a managerial role.
• Any match with Rhino that doesn’t involve a GORE GORE GORE is an automatic dud. Sorry. That’s just the rules.
• This Bob Evans guy is a cheap, unabashed imitation of Mickey from Rocky. Remember when ROH used to be the mature alternative to WWE?
• Next to Bennett and his manager, Shelton Benjamin looks like he’s Shawn Michaels.
• This Bob Evans gimmick will work in 20 years when he actually starts to look like a grizzled veteran.
• Future Shock is a dumb name.
• The Young Bucks are the clear stars of this 3-way tag match, but I do like the chants of “fuck your grandma” directed towards the Bravados.
• I hate O’Reilly’s mouthguard.
• They’re doing a suffice enough job explaining this Kevin Steen/El Generico feud and Jimmy Jacobs being Steen’s sponsor.
• I love the “Little Jimmy” chants.
• Generico has a great Blue Thunder Bomb.
• SPEAR ON THE APRON!
• Steen arriving with his twitter handle on his shirt and having his mic cut off is a nice touch.
• Truth Martini has surpassed Chris Hero as the epitome of looking like an indie wrestler.
• Glad to see Charlie still has RUSS on his wrist tape.
• What I got from these matches: Shelton Benjamin > Charlie Haas > Michael Elgin > Mike Bennett
• It was cool when wrestlers started added soundclips to the start of their entrances. Now I’m sick of it.
• I don’t know the rules of this Ringmaster’s Challenge match and I won’t adhere to them.
• The commentary went out during the Edwards/Strong match and it reminded me why I love going to see shows live. I think ALL wrestling dvds should have a seperate audio track without commentary.
• What would have been a nice hour long Iron Man match was made dumb by a pointless stipulation.
• After a pinfall and a submission, both men took finisher after finisher and kicked out. What?
• Jim Cornette allowing the match to continue with a Sudden Death stipulation (and his delivery) is the type of thing most companies are missing.
• The overtime went so long even the crowd didn’t pop for the finish.
• I like the Briscoes look. Whether it’s american flag or rebel flag or camo trunks. I like the cut up, beaten to death rebel flag hoodies and gas masks.
• The Briscoes also have new music. An awful Deliverance-inspired screamo track. No more Lynyrd Skynyrd. Bummer.
• If they debuted today, they would be called Lnrd Sknrd.
• Like Eddie Edwards, the All-Night Express have come a long way from ham and eggers on the undercard.
• The last time I watched, the Express were flunkies to Aries and Briscoes were fan favorites. Now Jay & Mark are the bad guys. I’d say this means no more shooting star presses and crazy double team spotfests but come on, this is ROH.
• “We want blood” chants not even 2 minutes into the match.
• A side russian leg sweep into a chair sends Rhett into the corner to blade. He’s now a 6 on the Muta Scale. A little early in the match but he’s selling it appropriately.
• Rhett Titus has a mudflap girl silhouette on his trunks.
• Jay’s busted open now and within seconds, it’s covering his entire torso.
• Despite having more experience, the Briscoes look lost in this ladder match.
• Like Ric Flair dropping an elbow on his jacket, I will always mark for the Briscoes’ double beal. Especially when they’re doing it to Kenny King on a broken ladder. Damn.
• As Jay chokes out Kenny King, you can see the blood spurting out of his forehead like a sprinkler.
• “Real motherfuckers don’t bleed!”
• I hate when guys have time to taunt but do everything on the ladder in slow motion; including climbing, punching and reaching for whatever.
• Ladder War 3 was the highlight of the show and told the story it needed to tell. The Briscoes dominated in what was essentially a street fight and proved they’re one of the best tag teams going today and the All Night Express proved that they can hang with the big boys. If you still think of Rhett Titus as a dancing, silly gimmick, then I don’t know what to tell you.